A House Based on Grace

My Mom bought me this book for Christmas when I was 9 months pregnant with Carter.  I am ashamed to say I have just now started it.  I am so NOT a reader, so it has taken some motivation to get started.  But, last night I could not put it down!  If anyone out there is looking for a parenting book to read, then this is the one.  I am not even to the 4th chapter and I can already tell you that Chad and I will raise our children with this method which is based on Grace...God's Grace.

The basic idea of the book is to treat and raise our children the same way our heavenly Father treats (and raises) us.  I know I have written a recent blog that talked about the parallel between parenting and our relationship with Christ, well this is just another parallel that will point our kids to Christ.  I am just going to say I AM LOVIN' these parallels that Christ is revealing to me!  He has such a perfect road map to life.

Here is just a little bit from the book:

"What does a grace-based family look like?  Grace-based parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ.  They live to know God more.  Their children are the daily recipients of the  grace these parents are enjoying from the Lord.  If you watch them in action, they appear to be peaceful and very much in love with God.  They are especiallyy graceful when their children are hardest to love.  Their advice to their children would be a mixture of :

- You are a gift from God; go make a difference

-You may struggle doing the right thing sometimes, but you're forgiven"

" The key characteristic of grace-based families is that they aren't afraid.  They are especially unafraid of all the evil around them"

Basically, we are raising our children the way Christ raises His.  Our goal in life is to ultimately become more and more Christ-like, so why not mix that same goal into our parenting styles?

Now, one thing to clear up about this book...Grace does NOT exclude obedience, respect, boundaries, or discipline...but it does determine the climate in which these important parts of parenting are carried out. 

So far from reading, what I have read thus far, is it is getting away from a legalistic way of parenting (list of rules), but it is also NOT one of these weird things where we aren't going to have any boundaries or discipline in our household.  It is almost like finding a good medium, but having it tailored to your child and their personality and what works best for them.  It is trusting God to lead you in the direction of what matters and what doesn't while parenting your child.

One last thing, the author guides you through the Grace based style of parenting using 3 things...and that is your child's three driving needs that are etched into his/her DNA.  Those being:

1. A need for security

2. A need for significance

3. A need for strength

Throughout the rest of the book the author will teach you how to meet these 3 basic needs in your child through 3 valuable gifts you can give them: Love, Purpose, and Hope.

If we do our jobs, our children will leave our homes with a love that is secure, a purpose that is significant, and a hope that is strong.

Also, he leads us to understand if we as parents don't fill our children's basic needs, then they will find it elsewhere in the world...and Satan knows about these needs he will always be working to try to fill our children's needs in counterfeit ways.  We've got to beat him to the punch.

The book is scriptually based, and the author backs himself up all throughout the book with scripture verses.

I feel like this parenting style is going to set my children free to choose Christ.  It will not be a style that will cause children to want to be rebellious, but it will point them straight to Christ by the way they are raised.

I feel refreshed knowing that we are going to choose this parenting style to raise our children.  I always knew I wanted to be a mother but until I became one I never felt how much of a calling mother's have on their lives to raise a Godly child.  Mothers...think about it, Christ is using us to mold this human into a God-loving, God-fearing individual that will ultimately make a difference for His Kingdom...now tell me that is not purpose!  Wow, what a task we have! With Christ's direction and help I am working towards that "Well done good and faithful servant"!  What a thrill it is to serve Him!

SO, if you haven't read this book yet...go get it!

2!

So we (we as in Carter) have officially been 2 for a week today!  On his birthday he got to open his birthday present from Mommy and Daddy, which was a keyboard that he loved, and then that evening we went to his favorite place for dinner, Chickfila.  Real original, right??  Chad's parents met us there and we ate, had a cake, and sang Happy Birthday...it was sweet. 
Saturday was his birthday party, which was themed after the Freshbeat Band.  He looooooooves the Freshbeat Band.  We even had Freshbeat Band music playing..which he was confused about because he didn't understand why he couldn't see them, but he could hear them.
All in all the party went great and was much less stressful than his 1st birthday party.  We had it at my sister's neighborhood clubhouse in Springville. It is a perfect spot for a party, it has a huge room with a kitchen...and that is all I needed!  Throw some balloons down and the kids had a BLAST.

Now, onto our averted disaster.  The clubhouse also has a pool outside which we can enjoy in the summertime...all you have to do is walk out the clubhouse door, step down off the patio and there is a beautiful pool with a small waterfall.  Well, folks were coming in and out and I guess somehow the door didn't get closed all the way or my child knew how to open it.  Either way, the Birthday Boy somehow made his way outside and was contemplating a nice little dip in the uncovered pool.  So, you're wondering, where is this kid's parents, right?  Well, it was slightly chaotic inside and I had my back turned to the door and was putting ice in glasses, Chad had been chatting with family and friends and we were just letting all the kids play...I mean it was one big room so what could go wrong? 
Chad said he happened to see the door open and went to close it and just happened to see Carter standing right at the edge of the pool, just looking at it.  He said he looked around for me because he thought "surely she is out here"...NOPE!  Chad ran straight at him and just hoped he didn't take a dive for it!  Luckily he did not become part of the Polar Bear club that evening.  But in all seriousness I laugh to keep from crying...though, I did burst into tears once all was said and done and we got home from the party, I just sat there and squeezed him so tight.  I'm sure he was wondering what the big fuss was about!
So, moral of the story is this...don't think the Lord doesn't hear your prayers...especially when they are consistent.  He hears them.  I think I have blogged before about the prayers I say for Carter for who he will grow up to be and how Christ will form his heart...well I also pray for the Lord's eyes to be on Carter when mine are not.  None of us are perfect parents and there are times when our eyes are just not on our children. 
So, His eyes were on Carter when mine were not and I have thanked the Lord a million times plus for that.  I keep wondering why it almost happened and I really think it was the Lord's way of showing me that He is hearing my prayers and reminding me to pray more.
HE is also reminding me to focus on what DIDN'T happen rather than what COULD have happened.  My mind likes to wander, so I usually like to come up with unproductive thoughts throughout the day.
So this is just one of the other thousands of reasons I praise my Lord.  HE is good.  All the time.

SO, after all of that we are now over-run with toys, and I am working on organizing everything since our house is back on the market (that's another prayer we're working on).  I will have to post again once our new toybox gets here and show you the before and after of our Toys R Us corner in the living room.
I know I have missed important posts like Christmas and snow days, but I am doing good to post this one!
Hopefully I will update my blog decor soon too, ha.
Below are a few pics of the party...